Every parent fears it, but every parent has to do it sooner or later - leave their child home alone. Although you may have visions of knives in the toaster, most kids will be fine on their own when the appropriate time comes, so long as some guidelines are followed.

There is no actual law in Australia that states at what age a child can be left alone. The law is clear however that parents are legally responsible for their children's safety and wellbeing. Parents have the responsibility to provide food, clothing, a place to live, safety and supervision for their children. The police or the Department of Community Services can remove children from situations where their safety is considered to be in danger and there is no guardian present.

Babies and toddlers are not capable of looking after themselves and should never be left alone. Babies and toddlers also have a different sense of time, so even a short amount of time can seem endless to a toddler and cause great distress.

Pamela from Hurstville felt anxious the first time her daughters stayed at home alone. "I had to let go of my negative thoughts of all the possible things that could happen, plus let go of my control over always being there for my children. However, the first time I let my girls stay home alone was when I felt they had the maturity to cope on their own," said Pamela.

There comes a time when adolescents want and need to develop more independence. Being home alone for the first time could be an exciting or frightening experience for them. All children are different; know your child's level of maturity and trust their instincts.

It's a good idea to start by leaving your child alone when you feel they are ready, just for short periods of time, during the day. Let them know when you will be back and stick to a time.

The oldest child in a family is often expected to be responsible for the care of younger siblings, but this may not always be fair or appropriate.

In making decisions about this, consider the following:

• Is giving the oldest child this level of responsibility fair to all the kids?
• Will younger children feel safe and comfortable in their care?
• Can they look after themselves and other siblings in any situation that may arise?
• Will they know what to do and how to get help?
• Will they be able to handle the situation if children "play up" or are sick?

Allan, a father of two has made some clear 'home alone rules' for his daughters that keep him from worrying.

"The girls know that under no circumstances are they to answer the door. We give them tips such as not letting people on the phone know that we are not at home - perhaps saying that we are busy and will call them back," said Alan.

"Also, my children know 'safe' people's homes in our street that they can go to for emergencies; they also know these people's phone numbers. We always carry our mobile phones and we call to let them know if I am taking longer than anticipated."

• Can they play outside?
• Are they allowed to have friends over or go to a friend's house if invited?
• Are they allowed to answer the phone if it rings?
• Can they swim in the pool?
• Are they allowed to use the microwave, toaster, or oven?
• Can they leave the house to go to a shop?
• Can they use the telephone, watch TV or use the internet?

Kids do make mistakes and this is all part of learning. Reassure your child that learning to be on their own is a big step in taking responsibility for themselves. So they might end up "un-tuning" all the channels on the TV or forget to take phone messages, but hopefully they will have got through it unscathed and matured just a little more.