Eeeww! That's probably your first reaction at the very thought of talking to your child about sex.

Most of us look back on the 'sex talk' experience with our own parents — if we even had one — with some horror so, chances are, you're embarrassed at the very thought of travelling down that path with your own kids.

As a parent starting out on this journey, you'll probably have more questions than your child to start with!

• How early is too early to talk about sex?
• Is there something wrong with my son because he's asking strange questions?
• Should I speak to my son and daughter differently about sex?

The truth is you are not out there on your own. There are great books, websites and even telephone help lines to help parents with this dilemma.

Firstly, preparing for your talk gives you a good opportunity to decide how your answers will take your own family's values into account.

So before you get started, it's a great idea to read a book or two — you can start by looking at the Family Planning NSW online bookshop — so that you have resources on hand when the questions start.

Also, find out what your child will be learning at school so that you're not surprised by anything you hear at the end of the school day.

Learning about sex in the primary classroom isn't about learning 'how to do it'. And it's not just about how the human body works — it's about emotions, feelings, attitudes, values, decision-making, relationships and communication.

NSW public schools cover the topic through the Personal Development, Health and Physical Education (PDHPE) syllabus.

The focus is on accurate age-appropriate information delivered in consultation with the school community. Check out the PDHPE syllabus guide for parents.

Allan Booth, Manager, PDHPE, Department of Education and Training, says that parents and school communities are important partners in providing accurate information to students.

He also says parents should not be afraid to discuss PDHPE programs with their children's school.

Most of us are familiar with the fact that young kids tend to ask very straightforward questions — often in a loud, squirm-inducing voice. Liz Hammond, the manager of health promotion at Family Planning NSW, says you should take a deep breath when you get anxious about how to answer such questions.

"Kids ask questions to get the right answers, so you should feel relief that your child is asking you for those answers because it shows they trust you," Liz says.

"Sexual education starts from birth so talking to them early is good. Kids start learning about body parts, including sexual body parts, from the moment they are born. They are naturally curious and learn a lot from looking, observing others and then asking questions.

"Just answer the questions as simply and honestly as you can and if in doubt, let your child know it's a great question and that you'll think about it and get back to them with an answer later on."

Liz also says that you shouldn't think there's something wrong with your children if they ask strange questions about sex. It's likely they've seen something on TV, on a DVD or on the internet and they are confused; or they may have misheard someone talk about myths about sex.

And there's certainly no need to be concerned about too much information early on leading to early sex or promiscuity.

"In fact research indicates that age-appropriate information delays kids getting involved sexually. Ignorance never protects anyone from exploitation. Information about sexual abuse helps kids identify abuse."

Liz says answering questions about sex and sexual abuse is also important as children need accurate and clear information about what is OK and not OK.

"What's important is to provide accurate, easy-to-understand information early through books, using the correct names for private parts, touching of private parts, staying safe, and talking about what you see in the world around you, such as watching puppies being born," she says.

"Boys and girls need the same information about respectful relationships, intimacy, body changes, respectful touching and sexual health. Respect is the key word. Giving them information about each other encourages understanding about the different ways they develop and change and hopefully promotes a level of care for each other."

Here are some more of the great tips from Family Planning NSW to help you navigate the terrain.

• Don't interrogate your child — Kids will shrink from responses like "Why do you want to know that?" or "How did you hear about that?"
• Accept the question at face value — Go with your first understanding of the question because even if you get it wrong, your child will most likely say: "No, that's not what I meant. I want to know..."
• Answer the question as simply and honestly as you can — Keep it simple as too much detail will only be confusing.
• After you have answered, check up on it — Casually ask your child: "Does that answer your question?" or "Is that what you wanted to know?"
• If you don't know, say so — Be honest and admit when you don't know something, but offer to find the answer with the child or together look up the book that you bought earlier.
• If you are embarrassed, admit it — Honesty really is the best policy. Most children will accept you saying, "I feel a bit embarrassed about this because I'm not used to talking about it but I will try to answer your question."
• Respond to the question, not the language — Questions are often asked using slang. Answer the question first then talk about the 'correct' terminology later.
• Try to answer the question immediately — Of course this might be difficult if you're in the middle of the supermarket but don't avoid answering or acknowledging the question because you'll be giving your child the message that you don't really want to talk about this stuff.
• Discuss values and attitudes if appropriate — Answer the question simply and then raise any relevant attitude or value implications when you talk more about it later.

If you still need help, Family Planning NSW actually provides a healthline on 1300 658 886 where you can have your questions about reproductive and sexual health answered immediately and confidentially over the phone or via email. This service runs Monday to Friday, 9-5.

Useful websites

Raising Children Network

Better Health Channel

Parenting and Child Health