While there is a natural tendency to focus on your child's reading, writing and number skills, a fundamental aspect of school success is how children fare socially in the playground and in class.

Cathrine Neilsen-Hewitt, a child development expert at Macquarie University, says if children are happy socially they tend to be more engaged in their learning.

"If you speak to any Kindergarten child, one of the most important things for them is having friends and having people to play with," Cathrine says.

She says children who are on their way to developing a healthy social life are learning to:

• have good self-control skills such as sitting still and listening quietly
• work easily in small or large groups
• follow directions and cooperate with others.

Another important factor is helping children to control their impulses. At the end of preschool, children can sometimes still act out their frustrations or wants by hitting or through verbal aggression, however by the end of the Kindergarten year, "children who are still playing like that are the ones who are at risk of being rejected by their peer group," Cathrine says.

"Children very quickly develop reputations, so you want to step in as soon as you can and develop those appropriate social skills. You don't want your child to be known as the one who hits other children, or the one who doesn't share. You want to cut that off as soon as you can in Kindergarten and really work on that."

Cathrine suggests using opportunities at home to model good social behaviour, such as teaching your child to take turns, share their toys and even give attention to others.

"Children who are more popular are those who ask a question of another child and then listen to their responses. It's modelling that at home when they're interacting and talking with each other, and it's about how to engage peers in conversation and pay compliments to their friends, 'Gee, I really love that picture'. That success in terms of peer interactions is critical," she says.

Inviting children over for play dates in small groups on the weekend and monitoring their interactions is also helpful because you can see how your child is interacting, and guide the behaviour if need be, Cathrine adds.

If your child's behaviour at school does become a concern it's important to approach the teacher.

"Effective learning is all about partnerships and having a sense of connection between the home and the school environment. When there is a sense of disconnect that's when children are at risk. It's about being connected to your community, to other parents as well as the teachers and the children," Cathrine says.

Speaking to your child's teacher generally about how they are communicating and whether they are making friends, and talking to your child at home each night about who they are playing with, and discussing with them what makes a good social citizen are all ways to give your child better coping skills in the schoolyard.

At the end of the year, the most important goal you can have is for your child to want to go back to school the following year.

"It's about having that love of learning," Cathrine says. "Even if at the end of the year they're still struggling with sight words but they still want to do their home readers, it means they're still engaged and they're still interested. That success is critical."