James O’Loghlin:

James O’Loghlin here. Thanks for joining us.

We’re talking about the Internet a bit in this segment because it’s one of those areas where kids often know more than us parents because the Internet wasn’t around when some of us were growing up. This week we’re going to talk about something called “sexting”, or “teen sexting”.

Kimberly O’Brien is a child psychologist from the Quirky Kids Psychology Clinic and she’s going to tell us what it is, and why we need to be aware of it.

Thanks for joining us Kimberley. What is sexting?

Kimberley O'Brien:

Okay. Sexting involves the use of a mobile phone and the transmission of a sexual image or message between two people.

James O’Loghlin:

And tell me how it can come about, typically?

Kimberley O'Brien:

It often comes about quite innocently in the playground. Kids might be mucking about with a mobile phone, a photo might be taken of a body part – you know a picture down someone’s pants or up someone’s dress as a joke when someone’s walking up the stairs.

And this image might be sent around the whole school, so reputations are ruined, and this is what’s called sexting.

It could also be done in a sexual relationship, where there are two consenting adults and they’re sending these images as a form of flirtation.

James O’Loghlin:

Oh okay. If adults do it, if they take images of each other and then send them to someone else, - I don’t know why you’d do that- but if someone wanted to do that, then it’s kind of different from kids doing it.

Kimberley O'Brien:

That’s right.

The thing with kids doing it or adolescents doing it is they could be later charged with being in possession of child pornography.

Just as if an adult was in possession of an image of a child in a pornographic position, that would also be child pornography.

I think the problem is that children and adolescents are quite unaware of how serious the situation could be – because they are in fact breaking the law.

James O’Loghlin:

Right, so it’s something that starts out as possibly a playground joke and that can be disturbing enough, but it can actually be far more serious.

Kimberley O'Brien:

Absolutely. There were actually 21 youths I think charged in Victoria last year in possession of child pornography, and it was sexting, which they saw as, you know, fairly light and humorous. But it can also be a form of cyber bullying as well. So kids need to be aware that this is not something they should just pass around between friends and they should tell someone about it if they do receive an image like this.

James O’Loghlin:

And I guess, before you take a photo, think. And before anyone takes your photo, because so many people have got cameras attached to their phones now, have a bit of a think too?

Kimberley O'Brien:

Absolutely. Think about the consequences and the reputations in the long term, because the Internet will have a memory longer than a lot of kids at school, so these things could come back to haunt students. And often it’s a little bit of one-upmanship when adolescents are going through that – looking at their self image and trying to look sexier than the next girl. Sometimes girls competing amongst themselves, so they want to send a sexy image to their boyfriend to look like they’re cool and they’re in. But these are the sorts of things that can lead to huge problems later on.

James O’Loghlin:

Now this is a world that is often not shared with parents, parents might be totally oblivious to it, so what can parents do to help their kids stay the right side of appropriateness and everything else?

Kimberley O'Brien:

Yeah – staying on the right side of the law. A good point is to start talking to kids about what’s legal and what’s not. And I think also to ask kids to be open about what they’re doing with their mobile phones, you know, looking over their shoulder to see what images they’re sending and what images they have in their phone memory is important, even though adolescents are often really private and protective of these things. It should be something a family can discuss and share, looking at who their friends are and what they’ve been doing, without having anything that’s too secretive, because I think that leads to trouble down the track.

James O’Loghlin:

It’s tricky isn’t it, because I suppose one way of preventing it is (I suppose you can still get them) getting mobile phones that don’t have the capacity to send images. But then 99% of the time kids are using that for things that are enjoyable and fun and even creative.

Kimberley O'Brien:

This is true. I think the majority of times kids do use mobile phones and cameras appropriately and it’s great for their creativity, but it’s just the small percentage of kids that use it in this way. But with the sexting phenomenon, it’s actually gotten really huge in America and in Australia there’s a lot of information on the Internet about it, so if kids weren’t aware of it they soon will be, so it’s important for parents to talk about it first, to set the boundaries in terms of the Australian law and to let them know it’s not wise to do something they may regret later on.

James O’Loghlin:

If you’ve got an adolescent that’s going through that adolescent stage where talking to their parents isn’t the coolest thing in the world, how would you suggest you break down the barriers and  initiate and carry on a conversation about this quite sensitive topic?

Kimberley O'Brien:

I think it’s great to have lots of information around the family home, even putting things up on the fridge like interesting articles or sites that parents have stumbled across. I think it’s important to just raise conversations over breakfast or dinner about “You wouldn’t believe what I saw this morning on TV”. To bring up the topic and then to ask the child to maybe participate or to explain something that might have happened in their own school that relates. I think it’s important just to start the ball rolling with conversation to let them know what  the parents think about it and what their opinions are.

James O’Loghlin:

And ideally I guess that’s a process that begins not just when they’re 16 and have a mobile phone, but hopefully some years earlier.

Kimberley O'Brien:

Definitely James, I hope that the communication lines are open from a very young age because, even things that may be affecting older cousins or older neighbours should be talked about with younger kids as well. Because they’re the role models, after all, so it should be a community approach to these issues that affect the greater community.

James O’Loghlin:

I got my first mobile phone when I was... about 30 I think. What age do you reckon kids should get mobile phones?

Kimberley O'Brien:

I think it’s a really hot topic, I know a lot of parents are starting to get kids phones from even eight or nine. I think 12 I is reasonable, because at that age they’re usually a little more independent. They can go shopping by themselves and need to be picked up after the movies, so as far as things about safety and communication, it’s important at that age.

Any younger I think is probably unnecessary. It does often happen in families that have gone through separation and divorce, that the kids become the communicator between parents, and parents want to have access to the kids at all times. So there are special circumstances that might suggest that the kids can  have phones earlier, but it’s a case by case example.

 James O’Loghlin:

And when you get your first bike, you don’t get a 24-speed, geared one with all of the cons, you get a pretty basic one. Is there an argument that if you are going to get your child their first phone at 12 or something, really trying to get a basic one, so that they learn its primary purpose first before they get into all this other business?

Kimberley O'Brien:

I think so. I think it’s important to get a simple model and to have set limits, on say just calling out or just texting out if you have to pick them up after shopping or the movies – something in terms of communicating with parents. There need to be limits around what their credit balance might be for the month – not unlimited I would say, having, you know like a $30 limit on the credit.

There will be a lot of pressure to buy more credit, but I think kids need be set- and be happy with- those boundaries. And parents aren’t setting themselves up for something that’s going to be really expensive down the track.

James O’Loghlin:

Yes, and just returning to sexting, some kids might be aware of it before their parents are, although after listening to this perhaps some parents are aware of it before their kids are - should they initiate a conversation with their kids?

Do you suggest they say “Look I’ve just become aware of this. Now with your phone, I don’t know if you know anything at all, about it but if you don’t, just be aware there are some pretty serious things here”?

Kimberley O'Brien:

I think it’s the parents’ responsibility as well the teachers’ at school. There should be education within the system to talk about how mobile phones can be positive but also negative. That you can have some situations like sexting that can be quite dangerous for individuals so that if the young person raises the issue of sexting, it’s important to provide further information, do some research yourself and put that information out there for the kids to find, around the house.

Take them through it, if they’re not interested in talking about it, just point by point. Keep it simple and put some information up on the fridge

James O’Loghlin:

Well we do that with other things that are potentially hazardous, don’t we, like riding a bike or doing anything that could be dangerous, before we let kids do it?  Because we’re aware of the dangers. But with this, a lot of parents are less aware because we have less experience with it.

Kimberley O'Brien:

I think we’re all just learning as we go, so sometimes you just deal with issues as they come up. But having those lines of communication open as we talked about is really important.

I think also maybe having little forums with teachers and parents to talk about about how best to address new technology, small groups of  kids to explore new issues that might come up that even parents and teachers aren’t yet aware of. Just time in a personal development class or in an IT class to talk about new technology and any issues about how to deal with it, amongst kids and teachers.

James O’Loghlin:

Thanks Kimberley.