When we were kids bullying was usually out in the open, in front of other people. Or it included things like notes being passed around about you in class. As horrible and upsetting as it was, you could usually escape the torment at home.

These days with the growing use of technology, the methods of bullying have changed.

Some children will come home after being bullied at school, only to encounter more of the same from the supposed safety of their own bedroom.

Bullying occurs anywhere kids (and sadly, adults) socialise, and our kids are the first generation to socialise online through chat rooms, instant messaging, SMS and social networking sites like MySpace.

Kids today love their technology and there's no doubt it can be fantastic for socialising and learning about the world. But technology can also be misused and the impact of cyberbullying can be devastating as messages are able to be quickly - and permanently - spread to a wider audience.

Researchers such as Marilyn Campbell of the Queensland University of Technology have looked at how technology emboldens young people to bully others online "when they would not bully face to face."

The anonymity bullies can enjoy through technology and the wider audience they can reach are part of the problem, Ms Campbell says. "[Also] written words can seem more concrete and 'real' than spoken words... there is less escape from the bullying, as it can happen anywhere and at any time."

Donna Cross, a professor of child and adolescent health at Edith Cowan University in Perth, agrees that the anonymity factor can also make cyberbullying more stressful for young people than face-to-face bullying. "At least if you're being bullied at school you know who it is that is doing the bullying, so you can stay away from them," she says.

But with anonymous cyberbullying, Professor Cross says the victim isn't sure who to avoid. "If someone laughs in the playground, she wonders if they're laughing at her."

At just 18 years of age, Tom Wood is a cyber veteran and has become something of an expert on cyberbullying - from bitter experience as a victim. Although he's still at school, he regularly consults with government agencies on cybersafety issues.

He stresses that technology isn't the problem.

"The internet, overall, is a very positive and useful part of kids' lives these days - it is very important for education and socialisation," Tom says.

Understanding just how important technology has become in kids' social lives is really important, both in terms of understanding the effects of cyberbullying and how it can be stopped.

To many kids, a fate worse than cyberbullying would be to have their social network cut off altogether, Professor Cross says. "It's an interesting phenomenon because we think that many children don't tell that they're cyberbullied for fear that they'll lose access to technology," she says.

Experts around the world say the best way to beat cyberbullies is to STOP, BLOCK and TELL.

Stop: This doesn't mean stopping the victim's access to their phone or computer. When Tom Wood was being bullied online, he discovered the hard way that the first step is to stop engaging with the bully.

"For a while I tried to stand up to them and it just got bigger," he explains. "Eventually I learned to not respond."

Remember that every perceived criticism isn't necessarily intentional. Not only does the written word rob us of visual cues to get our point across, you can't hear whether the sender intended to convey playful humour or dripping sarcasm.

Block: Blocking the bully and limiting communication to close friends is the next step.

"When bullying is done face-to-face, it only exists in your memory," Tom says. "With cyberbullying, the bad comments are physically there, and every time you look at it, it can have the same effect on you of being bullied again and again."

For this reason, blocking the bully and removing the comments (if you can) are vital - but always keep the evidence in case you need to follow up later with authorities.

Through his website, The Wood Verdict, Tom has published a step-by-step guide on how to block bullies from your Facebook, YouTube, email and other social networks. See the website at http://thewoodverdict.blogspot.com.

Tell: Tell your child about cyberbullying when they begin socialising online and reassure them that you won't block them from cyberspace if they're bullied.

Make sure they understand it's not their fault and they're not alone in this.

Sites like MySpace and Facebook encourage you to report abuse, and have reporting provisions on the site.

If you believe your child is being bullied, tell the school principal. Whether or not the bully attends the school, your child's peers may be aware of the attacks and may be pressured to join in.

Tell your child that if they are bullied, or know someone else is being bullied, they should tell a trusted adult at the school straight away.

Every NSW public school has an anti-bullying plan for identifying, reporting and dealing with bullying behaviours for staff, students and parents. Information related to bullying is also provided to school communities.

• Computer savvy kids are less likely to be bullied, according to some studies. Knowledge is the best defence for you and your child.
• Keep the computer in an open area of the house - not in kids' bedrooms.
• Talk to your children about cyberspace; know where they're going and who they're communicating with.
• Reassure your child that they can tell you about cyberbullying without fear of being restricted from the computer or phone.
• Take cyberbullying seriously. It isn't a "normal teenage phase all children have to go through".
• Reinforce the Stop, Block and Tell message with your child.
• Remind your kids never to post anything online they wouldn't want you or their teacher, for example, to read. It could be there forever.

More information and help can be found at:

Kids Helpline - 1800 55 1800

www.cybersmartkids.com.au

www.headspace.org.au

www.stopcyberbullying.org

www.teenangels.org

www.netalert.gov.au