Harry Potter and
the Chamber of Secrets
Date:
21 September 2002
Investigated
item:
Vacuum cleaner
Item location:
3 Cherry Tree Lane, Cheshire
Normally stored in laundry just inside backdoor
Current owner:
Elderly lady (Mrs Valerie Swinbourne), found vacuum cleaner when
cleaning attic.
Description
of item:
- one old-fashioned
vacuum cleaner (approximate date of manufacture 1940)
- small upright,
aluminium, barrel-shaped cleaner resembles a small robot (R2D2
in Star Wars)
- on-off switch
located at bottom rear of cleaner.
Current problem:
Owner reports the vacuum cleaner will not turn off at times
and starts up at unexpected hours (usually just as she has gone
to sleep for the night).
An electrician
conducted an inspection on 16 September 2002 and certified the cleaner
as electrically safe. However, the owner reports the cleaner started
of its own accord the instant the electrician left. On this occasion
the cord was not plugged into the wall socket.
Owner is very
nervous of cleaner and is keen to give it away. She also reports
a foul odour emanates from the cleaner when it is operating.
Evaluation:
An investigation of the history for this cleaner reveals it belonged
to a wizard named Albert Ninestein who went missing, presumed lost,
in 1941. Albert was house-proud and bewitched the cleaner to function
whenever it sensed an accumulation of dust.
Recommendation:
Send a bogus second-hand dealer to purchase cleaner from Mrs Swinbourne.
If this cannot be achieved then the item will need to be removed
by the Retrieval Branch.
Name of investigator:
________________
Signature: ____________
Footnote:
An inspection of the vacuum cleaner by the mechanical department
revealed a wizard ring inscribed with the initials A.N.
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