Dear Rappers,
Everyone wrote their own. Here's the one that we voted to send.
Ministry of Magic
Investigative Report
Date
11.11.2111
Investigated Item
Washing Line
Item Location
10 Millennium Falcon Road, Chestnut.
Normally located in the backyard at the end of the path.
Current Owner
Middle-aged gentleman, Mr Harry Hoist found the clothesline
on top of roof while cleaning the gutter.
Description of Item
#An old-fashioned rotating wire clothesline(approximate date
of manufacture, 1949.
#Winding mechanism located on the central shaft.
# The first two wires sag badly in the middle.
# The central shaft is made of cold metal and is painted black.
Current Problem
Mr Hoist reports that the clothesline keeps relocating to different
parts of the property. Every couple of days it grows an extra line,
at the last count it had 32 lines. Also when you approach it with wet
washing it howls and spins at great speed. It has been inspected by a
mechanic, who found no problems. Mr Hoist is scared of the clothes-
line and is keen to get rid of it. He can't dry his washing and he also
reports that a green sticky, glowing substance oozes from the central
shaft.
Evaluation
An investigation found that the clothesline belonged to a wizard named
Steven Fawkings, who mystically disappeared in 1951. He bewitched the
clothesline to howl and spin when approached by a stranger.
Recommendation
Send a bogus landscaper in to put a tracking device on the line and send the
Retrieval Branch to collect it the next night.
Name of Investigator
Callan Wetwashing
Footnote
Inspectors of the Mechanical Branch discovered the green substance was in
fact Steven Fawkings snot!!!!!
